The OUT OF LINE Series Page 19
Or was my jealousy the thing leading me to protest her outfit? Was it really any worse than what every other college girl would be wearing to the party? Maybe I needed to take a step back and stop playing the part of the overprotective boyfriend. I wasn’t hers, and she wasn’t mine. It was none of my business what she did or didn’t wear anymore.
“Fine.” I flexed my fingers. “You know where I’ll be.”
Carrie bit down on her lower lip and glanced away from me. “Thank you.”
I inclined my head, shot a death glare in Cory’s direction, and faded back into the shadows where I belonged.
Seeing Finn earlier had messed me up. Especially when he asked me to give him another chance. God, I wanted to, but I was too scared. Too scared to put myself out there again. Once a liar, always a liar. If he lied to me about his identity, what else would he lie to me about? What else had he already lied about?
I grabbed my fourth drink of the night, tipping it back and drinking deeply. It tasted like crap, but I didn’t care. Not tonight. Seeing him had thrown me off-kilter. I’d been so sure I could get over him. Sure that eventually I wouldn’t miss him or need him or want him. Then he’d had to go and kiss me. That had ruined everything. My body had responded immediately to him, as if it remembered the things he could do with his hands and tongue.
And it wanted more. I wanted more.
Marie came over to me, grinning. “Well, if it isn’t the prodigal roommate. Out drinking like the rest of us college kids.”
“Yeah.” I forced a smile for my roommate. We weren’t friends, but I didn’t hate her. “Crazy, huh?”
“A welcome crazy.” Marie nudged me with her shoulder. “I was starting to think I bunked with Mother Mary or something.”
I rolled my eyes. “Believe me, that’s not the case.”
“Coulda fooled me.” Marie took a long sip of her beer. “Although, I saw you on the beach the other week. Surfing. Who was that fine hottie you had with you? And more importantly, who is he to you?”
I tensed. “Him? No one. Nothing.”
“Can you tell me where to find him? I’d like to be his something.”
If Marie thought I would give her Finn’s info, she was barking up the wrong tree. No one would be getting near him with my help while I still had breath in my lungs. “Sorry, I have no idea. He was just some guy…”
A soft laugh sounded from outside, and I glanced over my shoulder. Of course he’d heard that. I turned around and smiled at Marie. Luckily, she was too distracted to see the falseness behind the gesture. That, or she didn’t care.
“Actually,” I said, leaning closer. “I think he’s gay.”
“Really?” Marie gasped, her cheeks flushed. “Are you sure?”
I nodded, grinning when I heard a few mumbled curses from outside the open window. “Positive. He kept talking about Cory and asking if he was single.”
Marie sighed. “It’s true. All the good ones are gay or taken.”
“Sadly so,” I said, keeping my voice solemn, even though I wanted to cackle with glee. I pointed at a cute guy across the room, who was watching us. “But he looks single and straight.”
Marie licked her lips. “Wish me luck.”
“You don’t need it,” I said, smiling. “But good luck.”
Marie took off, a swing in her step that hadn’t been there a second before, and crossed the room to the guy. Within seconds of Marie leaving my side, Cory arrived. He threw an arm around me, throwing us both off balance. I didn’t know how many drinks he’d had so far, but it had to be a lot.
Too many for him to be trustworthy.
Maybe he needed some fresh air to sober up. I fanned my cheeks again. “I’m hot. Can we go for a walk?”
Cory straightened and let out a hiccup. “Sure. Let’s go.”
He stumbled across the room, looking way too close to passing out, and I followed him. As soon as we stepped out into the night air, I took a deep breath. All of the colognes and booze had mixed into an unpleasant odor inside, and the fresh ocean breeze was a welcome change. I looked out toward the ocean and wrapped my arms around myself, reminded of another night just like this one.
The night I met Finn...
God, I missed him.
I gritted my teeth and turned to Cory, forcing a smile. I wasn’t going to think about Finn anymore tonight. I refused. “It’s been fun tonight.”
“Yeah, I’m glad you came.”
He wrapped his arms around me. It felt nice to be held by him. Secure, even. But I didn’t itch to jump his bones. Didn’t want to climb into his bed and lick him from head to toe. Maybe I was doing something wrong. Or maybe there was something wrong with me. Either way, I was done for the night. I wanted to go home.
I looked up at him, intending to tell him goodbye. I opened my mouth…and he was on me. His lips met mine, and it felt…nice. There might have been the slightest stirrings of desire, but it was so quiet a tiny breeze would have put out the fires. Cory groaned and crushed me against his chest, his tongue sliding in between my lips. I tried to feel something…anything…but it didn’t work. There was nothing there, just like the other time he’d kissed me. Yeah, I was broken.
Why was it that only Finn could make me want him?
Just as I was about to pull back and make my excuses to go home, something crashed behind us. Cory jerked back from me and looked around. I, of course, knew who was out there. How could I have forgotten about Finn following me, for even a second? He’d seen us and probably thought I was moving on. I wasn’t.
Probably never would be.
“Who’s out there?” Cory asked, stalking toward the noise. “Show yourself.”
I grabbed Cory’s elbow, trying to bring him back. I didn’t want them to see each other. “Don’t worry about it. It was no one.”
“Someone’s watching you,” Cory said, his jaw squared. “And I bet I know who it is.”
“No!” I cried, trying to pull him back toward me. “There’s no one out there. Let’s go.”
“I can see him.” Cory pointed at where he supposedly saw Finn. “Come out here, surfer boy.”
Finn stepped out of the shadows, his eyes hard and mouth pressed tight. His gaze skimmed over me, then slid back to Cory. “Don’t call me that, Cody.”
“I knew it was you. Why are you following her around?” He pushed Finn’s shoulders and Finn stumbled backward. “Are you some kind of sicko who can’t take no for an answer?”
Finn curled his hands into fists and stepped forward, his eyes narrow slits. “Push me again, and I’ll be the sicko who breaks your fucking face.”
Cory pushed him. Finn snarled and hauled back his fist, ready to do some damage. Cory, the fool, didn’t even back off. He was either too drunk to see the immediate danger he was in, or he seriously underestimated Finn’s strength. This wasn’t going to end well.
I couldn’t sit by and let Cory get hurt because I’d kissed him in front of Finn. Couldn’t let either of them get hurt. I threw myself in front of Cory, arms akimbo. “Finn, no! Don’t hurt him. I’m fine.”
Finn’s fist remained raised and something in his jaw ticked. “Get out of the way, Carrie.”
Cory shoved me aside roughly, and I fumbled to regain my balance. “Yeah, let the freak stalker take his punch. I’ll slam his white trash ass in jail so fast, he won’t have time to say lawyer up.”
“Stop being such a jerk, Cory. He’s not a stalker,” I said, tugging Cory back. My anonymity would have to come to an end. If I didn’t tell Cory who Finn really was, he’d never shut up about this. Never back off. “He’s my bod—”
“Ex-boyfriend,” Finn interjected. “And I can’t stop following her because I want her back.”
I blinked at him. “We don’t have to do this, Finn. Just tell him—”
“Good luck?” Finn slammed me with a look that clearly told me to play along. He didn’t want me telling Cory who I really was. Why not? “I can’t. I can’t let another man have you.”
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Cory laughed. “Well, too late. She’s already mine.”
The hell I was. We would have a talk about Cory claiming me like that, but not now. Not in front of Finn. I shot a cautious look Finn’s way. He still looked like he was ready to kill Cory, but at least he’d lowered his fist. “Let’s go, Cory.”
“Not until he tells me that he’ll stop following you around all the time.” Cory pulled free of my hold and stumbled back into the reach of Finn. “Did she tell you she wants to be with me instead? Are you mad she’s mine instead of yours?”
Finn’s fingers flexed. “Keep talking. Give me a reason to take a swing.”
“It was only a matter of time until she came to her senses, you know.” Cory smirked. “You might be fun for a while, but that’s all you’ll ever be to her—a fling.”
I stiffened. I didn’t like this side of Cory. Not one little bit. “Cory, stop it. You’re being nasty. It’s gross.”
“Oh, excuse me. Should I bow at your feet?” Finn snorted. “Yeah. Keep dreaming, asshole.”
“Go back to whatever trailer park you crawled out of, and leave us alone.”
“Cory. Stop it!” I snapped. Finn’s face revealed nothing, but I could feel how Cory’s words affected him as if we were attached to one another. As if when Finn hurt, so did I. “Stop being this way. I don’t like it.”
“You’d best listen to her.” Finn’s nostrils flared and he advanced on Cory. “I suggest you leave before I forget that Carrie asked me not to kick your pasty white ass, Cody.”
Cory took a swing at Finn, connecting with his eye. Finn could’ve avoided it easily, I’d seen him do so. But he let Cory hit him. Why? Finn rubbed the spot where Cory had hit him, but not before I saw the blood and the bruise already forming. And then he grinned. Grinned.
“Game on,” Finn said as he stalked toward Cory.
Cory paled, but stood his ground. He held up his fists. “Bring it.”
That’s it. I was leaving now, before I killed them both. Other girls might like being fought over, but I wasn’t one of them. “Finn, no.”
Finn stopped midstride, his entire body humming with anger and something else I couldn’t quite figure out. He took a step toward me and stopped. He tugged on the back of his head, torturing a poor curl. The look in his eyes haunted me. I’d hurt him. I could see it. Feel it.
“Leave. Now.”
Cory smirked and walked right up to Finn. He leaned in and whispered something. Finn’s face turned red, and then the next thing I knew, Cory was on the ground. He clutched his stomach, moaning and rolling around on the stone walkway. “You hit me. You actually hit me.”
Finn dropped to his knees and hauled Cory up by the shirt, his face inches away from Cory’s. “You ever say anything like that again, I’ll fucking kill you. You hear me?”
Cory pressed his hand to his stomach. “I’m going to report you to the police.”
Finn grinned, his eyes glinting maliciously. “Go ahead. Tell them I said hi.” He dropped Cory back to the ground. “Now get the fuck out of here before I change my mind and kick your ass.”
Cory stumbled to his feet and ran off, not even looking at me. His next stop would probably be reporting Finn to the police, and there would be repercussions from tonight. I closed my eyes and counted to three. “He’s going to call the cops, and you’re going to get arrested.”
“Fuck him,” Finn said, his voice tight.
I turned around to face Finn, but he had his back to me and his hands braced against a tree. “Did you hear me?”
His breath came fast and shallow. “I don’t give a flying fuck what the hell he does.”
“Well, I do.” I grabbed Finn’s shoulder and yanked. “What the hell is wrong with you?”
He spun on me, his entire body trembling with rage. “What’s wrong with me? Do you actually have to ask me that?”
“Yeah, I do!” I grabbed his arms and shook him. “You aren’t allowed to fly off the handle like that. You aren’t allowed to draw attention to yourself. You know that. What will my father say about this? What about your dad?”
He flung me off him. “I don’t give a damn anymore. Not about you. Not about anything.”
I stumbled back from the force of his words. It would’ve been kinder if he had hit me. “You know what? Go to hell.”
“Too late. I’m already there.”
“You have no idea what hell is. Hell is falling for someone for the first time and finding out that everything he ever told you was a lie. That everything you wanted to believe in was all a ruse to get close to you.”
He swallowed hard and closed his eyes. His hands fell at his sides, limp. “I didn’t lie to you about us. I’ve already told you that a million times, didn’t I?”
I shoved his shoulders, choking on the huge lump in my throat. Tears filled my eyes, but I blinked them back. I didn’t have time for tears right now. “You’re not allowed to be hurt in this situation. You were the one who did this. You were the one who went and ruined everything.”
“You think I don’t regret it? Huh?” He ran his hands down his face and let out a strangled growl. “You think I don’t wish I could make it all go away, if only for one more night in your arms?”
I wanted that too. Only I wanted more than a night. I wanted to go back to what we’d been to each other. No lies. No secrets. “Well, we can’t have that, can we?”
He dropped his hands to his side. “And I can’t sit here watching you fall in love with someone else. Especially him.”
“I’m not falling in love with him,” I said, my voice coming out thick. No, I was in love with Finn and had been since the second he walked into my life. There wasn’t room for anyone else in my heart.
“I quit.”
“You can’t quit,” I cried. “You promised me that you’d—”
“I promised to keep you safe. To watch over you.” He slashed his arm through the air. “I didn’t promise to watch you suck face with an asshole like him.”
I swallowed. “I don’t even like him like that.”
“I wish you the best of luck with life, but I can’t do this anymore. I care about you too much to stay at the side, watching you move on. I just…can’t.”
And with that, he turned on his heel and disappeared.
I wrapped my arms around myself and blinked back tears. He was leaving, and I’d never see him again. I should be happy. Thrilled. Instead, I wanted to chase after him and beg him to stay.
The next morning, my temper had cooled quite a bit, even if my feelings for Carrie hadn’t. One thing I knew I had to do? I had to tell her I loved her before I left. I had to give it one last shot. If she told me she didn’t give a damn about my feelings, then I’d leave. At least I would know I gave it all I had. I wouldn’t spend my life wondering what would have happened if I’d gotten the balls to tell her I loved her.
I hadn’t been lying when I told her yesterday she deserved better than me. She did. But no one else would love her as much as I could. No one else could make her feel as good, either. My phone rang and I glanced down. When I saw it was the senator, I sighed and picked it up. “Good morning, sir.”
“What’s this I hear about you punching Cory Pinkerton? What happened?”
I rubbed my temples. “Who told you?”
“The police called the campus, and the campus called me.” The senator sighed. “I’ll get it taken care of, but you better have a damned good reason for punching someone who could very well be a huge contributor to my campaign in the future.”
I swallowed the curses wanting to escape. “Yeah. Because your campaign is the most important thing here.”
“Are you insulting me, son?” His tone dropped, and I clenched the phone. “I can just as easily let the cops get their hands on your sorry ass. I’m sure your father would be displeased.”
Minus a huge pension, no doubt.
“No, sir.” I cleared my throat. “No disrespect.”
“Good.” I could practic
ally hear the smug grin the senator wore. “Now tell me what happened.”
I filled him in, but in my version of the story, Carrie had already left and my cover hadn’t been blown. “So, I told him I was a jealous ex, punched him, and told him never to come near her again.”
“I’ll kill the little brat,” the senator said. “How dare he act that way toward my girl?”
I clenched my jaw. “I felt the same way, sir.”
“Good work, son. Keep in the shadows, and don’t be seen.”
This was the time to tell him I quit. Tell him I couldn’t stay here anymore, but I hung up on him without another word and tossed my phone across the bed. I’d had to make up a story, so now I had to fill Carrie in on the tale I’d told. Time to track her down and fill her in. And while I was at it, I’d tell her I was in love with her too.
I’d leave after she laughed in my face.
Carrie
I lifted my hand to knock on Finn’s door, but it swung open before I could. There he stood, looking breathtakingly gorgeous as always. I had spent an hour out on the water, enjoying the solitude of the ocean. Everyone out there seemed to be trying to escape something. I wanted to escape it all. My life. Cory. My father.
And most of all…Finn. He was leaving me.
I didn’t even know how I felt about him anymore. I knew when Finn was around, my heart begged for me to forgive him. To give him another chance. But my head screamed just as loudly, and it called my heart a fool. How could I trust him after everything he’d done? After everything we’d been through?
I couldn’t. That’s how.
“Carrie? What are you doing here?”
I licked my lips and focused on him. I wasn’t sure what I was going to say yet. I probably should have thought that through. “I’m checking in to see if you heard from my dad yet.”
“He called. He was informed that Cory pressed charges against me.”
I closed my eyes. I’d been up all night worrying about that. “I told you he would do that. We’ll fix this. I’m sure if I speak to him, tell him who I really am, he’ll—”
“No.”